Apparently I have the world’s worst self esteem…
according to my friends

I think I’m just hard on myself
but I need to be
I need to be or I will become something repulsive
I need to be to keep myself inline
Cause I just can't let myself go again.

Look at my pictures from when I was young.
I used to be so skinny and pretty
I let myself go and now look
All I see is fat and hate

All my friends say that I'm still skinny and pretty
But I know it's a lie. They always lie to me.
I can see it in their eyes.

People used to make fun of me all the time
They used to tease me so much
They don’t realize what it has done to me
It’s stuck with me for this long
I can never think of myself normally because of them
I can’t get past the voice in the back of my head telling me ‘you’re ugly’, ‘you need to lose weight‘,’no wonder guys don’t like you’
I can't do anything but hate myself.


It kills me
logically I know I should be able to get past this
I know that I'm just weak. That I should be able to deal.
But I can't, it hurts too much.
Why can't I just be a normal kid?
One that everyone likes?
Is it too much to ask?